After years of focusing on my grind and living my life, I found myself with a crush on someone. It was the summer before my last semester of college. I genuinely thought I was done with crushes. I was sure the next time I was in a romantic situation it’d be someone telling they liked me. Then we’d fall in love and boom. Marriage. However, that was not the case. I developed a crush on Karim- a tall, dark skin guy with a hairstyle very few people could pull off.
I wasn’t 100% sure it was a crush at first. It’d been a minute since I had a close guy friend so I thought maybe that’s all it was. I mean, I thought he was good looking. I really liked hanging out with him. I liked knowing more about him. I thought he was really conscious and talented. That didn’t clear much up, though. People thought those things about their friends all the time.
I think the moment I realized it was a crush was when we were hanging out at the beach with one of his friends.
Karim casually said, “I like hanging out with you. I’m not really friends with a lot of other people.”
I smiled, “Aww! That’s so nice. I like hanging out with you too.”
What’s good Friendzone? I knew I had a crush on him because I was disappointed with where he had just placed me. I tried to be cool with it because I enjoyed the friendship we were building. I thought I was over my crush after that. Then, I started to realize I didn’t like him talking to other girls or sharing my time with him with other people. I’m the jealous type, but I’m not usually like that with my friends. Clearly my feelings were deeper.
The summer ended and I was sad to to part ways with him. I saw it as a definite goodbye, but he didn’t. If Karim used social media or was into texting I could see what he was saying, but that wasn’t the case. We’ve texted here and there but our convos usually fall flat after we say hi. If we ever do see each other again I’d be interested to see what happens. Even if we just stay friends.
Lesson Learned: I DON’T KNOW! For real, y’all. This one is to be continued. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be getting out of it. I feel like that’s how love is, though. Even down the road when I do find my husband, there will still be lessons to learn. Love is always changing and teaching us new things.